im so angry at myself ! wasted so much damn time !

feels frkn shit

yesterday was seriously most stressful day of my life, so far. first i went to see usher at circular quay, so i woke up at 3:30am. finished watching him then quickly went back to my cousins house to get my school stuff then quickly rush to school. from 9:30 til 1:20, i rushed sewing my textiles dress, which ended up to look like a piece of shit. handed in my textiles assignment which had sketches that weren't in colour in done in about a minute, with the model looking like something 5 year old would draw. ran to my visual arts exam. only studied 2/4 of the different art forms, so i just sat there thinking of some bullcrap to add into it. came to my cousins house, whose house i was currently living at, showered and went to sleep for about 14-15 hours. yeah thats how angry i felt at myself.

that post i wrote about 2 months go, about us walking past each other like strangers is literally coming true.

"its real late, bout a quarter to 1. im thinkin bout how we've become, and i hate it. i thought we could we make it. but im ready to jet this, and just forget about it" we ride - rihanna

oooooooooooooooo so-rry, if im not good enough to be the one you turn to anymore..

SO, this is the 6th night ive been living at my cousin's house. I currently don't have my own room right now, its been lived in by a lady and her baby. When she arrived the room for her at the back of the house was meant to be ready, but no, its been about 3 weeks, and it isnt done yet. This really isnt anyoens fault, i guess, but doesn't mean i cant be pissed. When i was sleeping on the floor on a mattress of my parents room, Ive had to walk back and fourth tip toeing around the lady who's staying in my room, to get new clothes and feeling weird walkin in when she's there because it just feels like im intruding. Ive got exams this week, and i really actually wanted to sit down on my table and get some studying done. And that is why ive been going to the library, but now that is not even a choice, no comment aboout that. ive been having to move all my s**t back and fourth from my house to my cousins house, including ALL my books, laptop, clothes and evrything. I wonder how the frkn nomads do it.

HHHMMMMMM.... maybe i was just delusional

im happy, but still, feel free to go feel guilty